Fairy Farts Excerpt – Cat People

“So, the lands to the east of Shara are scrub bush and desert,” I clarified.

“Yes,” said Daric.

“And the people that live there are mostly gnomes and cats.”

He sighed dramatically. “Gnomes and Felion. Fe-li-on.”

“But the Fe-li-on, look like cats.”

The elf rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No. The Felion look like Felion.”

I ticked the details off on my fingers. “Which are five feet tall, walk on two legs, furry, with short snouts, large canines, triangle shaped pointed ears on their heads, and long tails.”


“So, people sized cats.”

The elf lord groaned.

“Pi?” I asked.

The dragon was still in small elf form. She shrugged. “They taste gamey, and the fur gets stuck in my teeth. I don’t recommend them.”

“But are they like house cats?” I pressed.

“I don’t know, I’ve never eaten a house cat.”

Gemma nudged the tiny elf. “He means do they look like a elf sized cat.”

Pi looked up at me. “Oh! Well, why didn’t you ask that?”

“But, I…” I shook my head to clear it. “Do Felion look like elf sized house cats?”

“No,” she shrugged. “They look more like cheetahs. You know with the spots.”

“Except for the ones with stripes,” Gemma added.

“Or the ones with lots of head fur.” Pi nodded in agreement.

Gemma waved a finger in the air. “But that’s only the males.”

“Really?” Pi twisted her face in confusion. “How can you tell? Have you seen many Felion naked?”


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