The latest Fairy Farts excerpt: Dragons!

“Yes, I really am that wizard,” I assured her.

A larger head joined the smaller one in the window of the battered cottage. “And the dragon?”

“I’m negotiating with her to leave the area. She won’t attack today. I promise.” With some effort, I did not look at Pi.

The woman moved to the open doorway. “You spoke with the dragon?”

I nodded. “Yes. She’s really nice once you get to know her.”

She blinked rapidly. “Nice?”

“Well, she did threaten to eat me and breath fire on me,” I shrugged, “but after that we had a very nice conversation about our families.”

The elf stared at me in slack jawed. “Families?”

“Yeah, you don’t think dragons just appear out of thin air, do you? They do have families. Moms, dads, brothers, and sisters.”

She tilted her head to the side. “You must be insane.”

“Queen Lycia might agree with you, but the great wizard Geezer is also a bit eccentric, I assure you. Besides, crazy people shouldn’t scare you. At least they’re committed.”

Excerpt: One track Sprites

Five seconds later, Bramble shot out of the cave entrance and stopped outside the summoning circle. It spun in place several times. “Peach Fuzz?”

I cautiously stepped from behind a boulder. “Bramble, what did you see?”

“Dirt, rocks, and an elf.” The sprite reached for the sugar cube.

“No, no,” I cautioned. “Tell me more about the elf.”

The sprite huffed. “She was short, with red hair, and lying on the ground.”

“Was she asleep?” I asked.

“No. Her eyes were open.” Bramble jittered in place as its eyes bounced from me to the sugar cube.

“Then why was she on the ground?” asked Gemma.

“Because she was bound and gagged,” the sprite screamed in frustration. “Please gimme the sugar-ar-ar-ar.”